Just Like A Man

Just Like A Man

One night, after the couple had retired for the night, the woman became
aware that her husband was touching her in an interesting manner. He
started by running his hand across her shoulders and the small of her back.

He ran his hand over her breasts, touching them very lightly.

Then, he proceeded to run his hand gently down her side, sliding his hand
over her stomach, and then down the other side to a point below her waist.
He continued on, gently feeling her hips, first one side and the other.
His hand ran further down the outside of her thighs. His gentle probing then
started up the inside of her left thigh, stopped and then returned to do the

same to her right thigh.

By this time the woman was becoming aroused and she squirmed a little to
better position herself. The man stopped abruptly and rolled over to his
side of the bed.
”Why are you stopping darling?” she whispered.

He whispered back, “I found the remote.”

Pancakes

Pancakes

Brenda and Steve took their six-year-old son to the doctor.

With some hesitation, they explained that although their little angel appeared to be in good health,
they were concerned about his rather small penis.

After examining the child, the doctor confidently declared, 'Just feed him pancakes.
That should solve the problem.'

The next morning when the boy arrived at breakfast, there was a huge stack of warm
pancakes in the middle of the table.

'Gee, Mom,' he exclaimed. 'All those for me?'

'Just take two,' Brenda replied . 'The rest are for your father'.

Byebye pizza!

Byebye pizza!
Stumbling home from a club, pizza box in hand looking forwards to tasty goodness, the thought occured to me of "ooh. need to shit" (pronounced 'ffffrrrrrp'), so off i bimble to the small bit of woods i see by the side of the road.
AAAH AMBUSH!! A stream leaped out and surprised me.
The final picture - me, lying on my side, water up to my belly button, pants filled with guinnessy nugget of crappiness due to the surprising guerrilla tactics patches of water have adopted, folornly watching my much anticipated pizza float away into the darkness.
Very unhappy walking home. (stinking of shit and squelching)